the little valentine gift to poplar

this is "little calf who's yet to be named" born on valentine's day. note the heart on her little head. so precious, i'm in love....can i go home now please!!!

since it's valentine's day...

here are some things i love. thanks to my roomie katie, i've been reading the pioneer woman's blog...and i just read her list of "love's". oh to love the simple things!! (these are in no particular order...) happy valentine's day! kdo

- Jesus :)

- diet coke

- splenda, and that it sweetens everything...i couldn't live without it.

- my family

- my friends/relationships

- my major

- meeting new people, learning about their lives, and then cleaning their teeth haha. i saw one of my patients yesterday in a goodwill thrift store. it was the oddest experience, i'm not sure why...

- beth moore books, now reading one called "insecurities: you've been a bad friend to us".

- rooster kitchens

- rainy days

- being active, especially running. i feel like i can "get away" from things. it's a great escape!

- rainboots

- a good cry

- good movies

- good food

- tcby

- creativity

- MUSIC! i do everything to music---drive, run, clean my room, shower, etc.

- COFFEE! i am an addict. without it, i crash and burn.

- playing the piano, although i don't do it that often. i wish i had the time to!

- the office and LOST

- honesty: the best policy!

- proverbs

- tenth avenue north!

- clean sheets and laundry and putting the clothes on right after they get out of the dryer!

- randomness/spontaneity

- geocaching

- pictures

- driving with the windows down and a good song blaring to go with my mood

- kids/imaginations

- fruit, espec canteloupe!

- a good shopping run to supertarget

- reading blogs, and blogging

- listening to my dad's wisdom and stories. i don't think i've told him how appreciative i am that he likes and wants to share his wisdom with me out of love. i definitely take it for granted.

- leggings

- patience

- when people are on time!

- my morning routine

- reading isaiah

- mission work

- talking to new people

- text messaging

- rocking chairs

- beaches!

- spring time

- uplifting quotes/encouragement from friends and my mom

- being at home :)

- bowling with bumpers

the end!!

i wish i could think of a good title...

so i'm taking a study break to write. o this is kitty! of coarse i think that you probably could've figure that out by now because studying owns me. ugh. i'm trying to have a positive attitude about school, but it's hard and it makes me want to cry practical everyday. which i'm not a crier...i cry about once every 6 months. expect me to cry in august again, since i had a breakdown last friday. mans was my witnesses, as i vented to my mom about school being stupid, wanting to move to naples and marry for money, and that i wanted to jump of a bridge. ha yeah i said the last part, but i'm not serious...just stressed. anywho moving on. so i was reading in this devotion book this morning that kdo gave me and it was about the situations that God places us in. it was talking about how God brings us though hardships in order to draw us closer to him... whether it be school, work, relationships, etc. i know that seems so elementary and you are probably like umm ok i've heard it before!!! this is true, but we need to hear this over and over because we are stupid broken people. i can think of so many different ways i wanted my life to look right now....i would've graduated from auburn, i'd be engaged, working as a RN somewhere, living on a farm...but no God has me still in school, in memphis, single, thinking why in the world do you want me in this major, living on poplar. yeah and if someone would've asked me two years ago if i'd ever move to memphis, i would've laughed in their face. this makes me thing of romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called so according to His purpose." wow i'm an israelite. john a. whitmer saids about this verse "the things themselves may not be good, but God harmonizes them together for the believer's good because His goal is to bring them to perfection in His presence. Even adversities and afflictions contribute to that end." so true. back to studying about babies.

All Around......

People talking, music, typing, ESPN on the TV, coffee brewing, door opening and closing.....These are the sounds around me. I am sitting a coffee shop reading and then decided to check out facebook which lead to looking at our blog. I've wanted to post for awhile but for some reason didn't feel like I could because I didn't have an interesting story or something wise to say. But then I realized who cares! So here I am at Republic blogging! hahaha I am blogging, that makes me laugh. I haven't done a blog like this since livejournal! Livejournal, why did I ever do that. Any who!

I am reading A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller. So far what I have read has been super encouraging and eye opening. Many times when I pray I feel like I have to say the right thing and sound more like I am reading a script instead of saying whats on my heart and mind. Then when I pray at night I am already tired from being up late, have finished reading, and then I fall asleep during my prayer. Recently I have actually had a conversation with Jesus. I have talked to him like I would talk to a friend. It really is a different experience and feels more like personal relationship!

I am listening to a CD that Kitty made me and I love it!!!! For a long time I thought I knew a lot about music but I have recently come to the conclusion that I don't! This CD is great! I have listened to it everyday, not even kidding!!! Just took a sip of my coffee and its cold, terrible! Has such a different taste than hot coffee. Well, my killer is still out there!!! For those who don't know we are playing mission impossible with RUF and we were assigned someone to kill/eliminate within one week. Well I am still alive, but there is still time for me die! I have not eliminated my person yet either but maybe she/he will go down! Anyways I have stayed out of social situations so I wouldn't die and all my roommates are protecting me as well! But I am still looking over my shoulder and making sure my killer isn't here!!!!! Friday Valentine's Day comes out!!! We are having a girls night and going to see it!! I am really excited it looks awesome!!!! Oh hopefully my next post will consist of pictures from our random snow day and our new protector, Jasper(who by the way is still standing! very impressed with our skills)! Well until next time........

ars

i love blogging!!

so i am still awake in the loft...about to go to sleep. i just read emily's post and amanda's and it inspired me to blog before i go to bed. i loved that quote that kiersten sent...i also cried when i read it. i've felt so unmotivated with life lately---with school and spending time in the Word. i just feel like i'm at the end of my rope and i don't see the "light" that i know is at the end when i graduate and am done with school. i just feel really discouraged right now about school and that this is consuming me. but i am "waiting" also. "waiting" to graduate, to move on in life, to get a job, get married, etc. and the Lord has me here where i am also, and i need but rest in that. waiting, resting=new theme of life. for everyone. done.
emily i was laughing out loud at your facebook stalking...i spend way too much time too!! and self-control is not my strong point either.
valentine's day movie comes out friday! who's excited? poplar5 is buying tickets...TOMORROW.
goodnight!
kdo
ps- i'm reading through isaiah. what stubborn people, and oh how i can relate!

Waiting--not for the faint of heart

My loves, Mans here. I come to you frustrated and flustered. I feel like I've been pushed around and bullied by the concept of WAITING. I feel that all of us are waiting for something, whether it's waiting to get out of school, get a job, get married, find that guy of your dreams, etc. We are all players in this crazy game of life and our opponent is the ever menacing villain dubbed, waiting.

I feel like I've been in this same chapter of my life for ages. This chapter where I am single, in school, working part-time jobs, and living with a bunch of girls. And though none of those things are necessarily bad, I'm tired of it all. I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to get married, have loads and loads of babies, find a cute house and decorate it with items that I've circled in a Pottery Barn magazine. But that's not where God has me right now. I'm exactly where I should be, which is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. Because along with that pill, I have to throw in the painful reality that God's plans for me are more important than mine. His are perfect, while mine only deal with my present circumstances rather than the bigger picture.

When things don't go my way, I turn to my closest companions--sarcasm and cynicism. But of course God wants to use us even in the periods of our lives when He has called us to wait. Ugh, it's so much easier to just be sarcastic, because I'm really good at it. When it comes down to it, He has called me to rejoice. "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice." Philippians 4:4.

Kiersten sent me this poem by Russell Kelfer today that caused me to weep, because of my skewed view of God. I'm viewing Him as this prison guard, holding my hopes and dreams under lock and key until the decree comes that He can give them back to me. Here is the poem, I hope it pierces your heart like it has mine:

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...

And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers. I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming Your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate

Hangs in the balance and you tell me to wait?

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.

Or even a 'no', to which I'll resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate

As my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting... for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...

And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love

When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of My comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

But oh, the loss, if I lost what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.

And though oft My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still... wait."

I mean, really?

We finally got a stupid wireless router in this house about three weeks ago, after being here almost a year. It is horrid. I came to my room at 10:30 to get some sleep because I was exhausted, and what did I do?I facebook stalked everyone and their mother; looking at updated pictures, checking up on high school friends, just doodling all my time away on useless mess. My eyes are fixing to fall out of my head. Awesome. I can only imagine the mischief my room mates are in at the moment, but I believe them all to be doing the same thing, if not sleeping (aka the loft girls). Misery of miseries...obviously self-discipline is not one of my strong points.

ed